Intro: Good Bye Social Media!
April 19, 2019
I want to quit social media for one year. And not in the I want to announce to everyone on social media that I’m quitting social media type of way. I have taken plenty of hiatuses here and there, generally for the same reason I am now but on a much more surface level. My past breaks never had time constraints attached, and they varied from a couple days to a couple weeks tops. These breaks from social media, or social media diets as I like to call them, have always come from guilt of being on my screen too much. I’ve been aware of the negative affects that are attached to the mindless scrolling so ingrained in our world now, but I think I had a different aha moment this time. In words, it might not seem different than how I felt before. Except, a few days ago I sat on the new trampoline with my boys eating dinner (trampoline picnics, it’s a thing now at our house), and I realized that ever since becoming a mother, my real life has been very intertwined with social media life. It isn’t about too much scrolling or zoning out, although those are unfortunate side effects as well. It’s about generally losing a sense of what I want from life. What I want to do and feel and have, just for the sake of living life, even when it means nobody knows about it except the people who I am experiencing it with. What did I want from life before the heavy use of social media? I almost don’t remember that version of myself or of the world. And it’s really fuckin hard to admit that many of the choices I’ve made the past 5ish years have been heavily influenced by what other people have posted. It’s time to own up to that, look it in the eye and try to change the course ahead. Mistakes and bad choices are a part of life, with or without social media. But following all the people can guide you away from your true self, so you’re not even making mistakes worth making. At least that’s how I feel. So, I want to dig in at a deeper level. But I still feel like there’s a human part of me that wants to share things, even if nobody ever reads this, because who even reads blogs anymore?
I want to pursue my interests without the influence of Instagram. I want to have truly happy moments and make memories with my family, to eat healthy, exercise and get in shape, work hard and pay off debt without sharing it all on Instagram. I want to take a vacation even if it’s not photo-worthy, to be ok with my messy house with outdated furniture, and with my boring and simple wardrobe. I want to be ok with these things because I was ok with them prior to the influences of social media. Basically, I want to do the things I want without feeling the need to get feedback, likes, comments, views, etc. from the peripheral people in my life. Obviously, the great moments in life will be shared with those close to you, why does the rest matter? I need to retrain my brain to have goals for intrinsic value, not because I can share my successes or be influenced by what everyone else is doing.
Today is Friday. We are heading up to beautiful Gilroy this afternoon to see family for Easter and I couldn’t be happier. It’s going to be what it’s going to be, but I won’t be sharing it with anyone besides who I’m experiencing it with, and that feels like a new concept. It’s a good day to start living my life the way I want to live it.